Where the Wild Things Are

This entry was written on Oct 26, 2009 by our Dad Guru John Valadez

Spike Jonze is quickly becoming the voice of a generation – for the film medium. Jonze adapts Maurice Sendak’s classic tale of childhood imagination with a twist. Having no frame of reference to go by, except the recognizable artwork done by Sendak himself for the book, Jonze takes a clear lens and fills it with unforgettable characters and a touching narrative. Relying more on raw, unbridled emotion than words, the film tells a story of a young boy’s unhinged anger towards his mother, sister, family pet and himself. Max’s (Max Records) world begins to break down after a playful snowball fight, involving his sister’s (Pepita Emmerichs) teenage friends, turn into a rage infested crying session with “the teenage friends” smashing his snow fort. The day’s action climaxes as Max witnesses his mother (Catherine Keener) kissing her boyfriend (Mark Ruffalo), who is on this film for a few blinks. Although a father is never shown - the film shows a touching shot of a gift you won’t want to miss - Max is obviously angered by his mom’s new relationship. The kiss causes him to lash out towards his mom, bite her on the shoulder and run from the house into a sailboat where his journey, inward, begins. Upon landing on his new world, Max quickly declares himself King and the ensuing story takes-off.

Amidst all the classic tales of children books adapted to the big screen, Where the Wild Things Are will rank among the best. Jonze’s genius is not the narrative, but in the way the film combines emotional storytelling with inanimate monsters. The monsters expressions were artfully completed with CGI, while the seemingly ten foot puppets appear to step right out of the award winning children’s book; the film dares the audience to keep up with Max’s imagination, wonder and emotional rollercoaster. This is certainly not a children’s movie. From the opening scene of Max chasing his dog screaming in anger, to the dirt fight scene showing how a child deals with boredom and depression, Where the Wild Things Are lives up to its title. Leave the kiddies at home and be transported to your eight year-old sheet fort where everything seemed to make sense so many years ago. Try not to judge Max, or Jonze, and let yourself feel all the raw emotionally charged undertones of this film. You might even walk out of the theatre smiling, knowing you left your “wild thing” back on that distant land, that place where we all went when we felt conflicted as children.
Have a great day and God Bless.

Don´t rush kids to grow up

Don’t rush your kids to grow up, they’ll do it soon enough, anyway. Let them grow in their own time. Remember, once your youngest child has passed each stage of growth and development, you’ll never see that wonderful part of life in your children again.

Carpe Diem

This entry was written on Sep 29, 2009 by our Dad Guru John Valadez

Every day is filled with opportunities to learn valuable life lessons which make our lives easier and more accommodating; often not only do we miss these lessons, we see them as inconveniences and therefore, we categorize them as “bad days”. When I was younger I learned a phrase, “Carpe Diem” or “Seize the day.” I thought the meaning was to live life to the fullest because we only have a certain amount of heartbeats in us. Older and wiser the phrase, to me, means to become enlightened, shed your worldly desires and ultimately transcend to a higher plane of consciousness.

Each day we have an opportunity to grow as a person in areas we neglect on a daily basis. Being westerners, we often neglect spirituality and brush it aside for watching sports or other worldly pursuits. Some men take an initiative and attend church each Sunday, but spend the majority of the time thinking about the rest of the day. You won’t find spirituality in church – any church – you’ll only receive guidance.
We are individuals and the only person who can seize the day is you. No one can do it for you.
Take time, right now, and ask yourself am I living to seize the day or a life of self satisfaction and ignorance? Depending on your answer will determine who you’ve become as a person, parent and a husband – seize the day.
Have a great day and God Bless.

Agree on personal space

Do you find your freedom seems to becoming more and more restricted? Are you feeling closed in and frustrated? Chances are, you are not taking any time out purely for yourself. In order to have a balanced life, you need some personal time. Agree with your wife on some time each week (just an hour or two should suffice) where you can have time just for you - watch TV, read a book, go to a movie, go shopping, visit friends, pursue a hobby, attend evening college. Likewise you should offer the same flexibility to your partner - everyone needs personal time out.

Amusement Parks and long lines

This entry was written on Jul 08, 2009 by our Dad Guru John Valadez

We are heading into the middle of the summer and that usually means - amusements parks - for most of us Dads. Are you the Dad that doesn't go on rides with his older children or just pays for the kids to get in and then heads his own way with the little ones? If you are, try spending time with your kids in the park. We all understand if the kids are teens and want some "space", but make them a deal and go on a couple of rides with them.

It's a family day at the park.

While you're in those long, winding, inconvenient lines strike up some conversation with them. What else are you going to do? You have them cornered and there is nowhere for them to hide. Ask them about their summer; ask them what classes they are taking this coming year; ask them how life is treating them; ask them anything! You aren't the only one bored in line trying to pass the time. Plus, they are more likely to open up in a fun environment where everyone is laughing, playing and getting wet.

Some of my best conversations, as a youth, were in line at amusement parks. You can make those memories true for your children as well.

Be more flexible

Be more flexible with your time and attitude to your kids. Try not to set yourself constant strict timetables and parameters. Kids have a wonderful way of living in the moment which means that they don’t care what the time is or what may have to be done or what is coming up at another time in the day or the fact that you are tired and hungry. They want to do things now and it’s good to not fight them on that all of the time - give them a lot of attention and some flexibility when you can. There will be plenty of times when your schedule will not stretch very far so stretch it on those occasions when you are able to

Turn off the Television and turn on your life

This entry was written on May 27, 2009 by our Dad Guru John Valadez

Being a father is the highest honor bestowed upon a man. At the end of days the only thing that will matter is we did the best we could, with the time we had, on this earth. No time is better spent than raising children. I would challenge anyone to find a more fulfilling lives work.

During these economic times, most of us will continue worrying about an economy we cannot change from our living room. By turning off the negativity coming into our homes and projecting positive feelings to our families the world will be a better place – at least, in your house it will.
After a full day’s work instead of turning on the television for a few hours and zoning out – read to the kids, challenge them to a video game, throw the ball around outside, go for a bike ride, go for a walk and enjoy the honor that has been bestowed upon you. As all good things come to an end, so will these blissful moments with our children.
Dad Challenge:
Step 1: Sit down and write all the things you know about your children – right now.
Step 2: Take the next seven days and do not watch any television; instead, use the time to spend with your children.
Step 3: Sit down and write all the things you know about your children and compare the lists.
Step 4: Let us know how it all works out. Come back to this site and comment on your week.

One on one relationship time

Give each of your children and your spouse / partner one on one time on a regular basis. This time is really important for development and maintenance of your relationships with each of your family members. If you only give your family "family time", you will not have closeness with your kids or intimacy with your wife, nor will you have true fulfillment with your family. Whilst work or other priorities may seem too demanding now, how will you feel when you finally have time and no one wants to share it with you?

Dad Saturday Challenge

This entry was written on May 20, 2009 by our Dad Guru John Valadez

Time is the most precious gift a dad can give his children; and contrary to the Rolling Stones, time is not on our side. At least, as it pertains to spending time with children. In my last post I blogged about taking the kids for a wilderness excursion to stimulate interaction and dialogue. I’m going to raise the bar and challenge the dads out there to spend quality time with the kids. I’m not referencing a bed time story or wrestling around for 15 minutes – noble causes though and good intentions. The challenge is an entire Saturday. Can you handle it?

· 7:00 a.m. – Time to wake up.
· 7:10 a.m. - Make them breakfast. My favorite is French toast - eggs, milk and bread. Mmm
· 8:00 a.m. - Get them dressed, brush their teeth and you are out the door.
· 8:45 a.m. - An early morning bike ride is a great outing. It gets the blood going, warms up the legs and motivates the clan.
· 9:30 a.m. – Take a little break, you deserve it. I let them watch some cartoons, for an hour, after all it is Saturday.
· 10:30 a.m. – Time to go to the park. Depending on how far you live from the park you will either get in the car or walk or its back on the bikes. I would get in the car. Remember, it’s still morning and you are going to need the energy.
· 10:45 a.m. – Bring your camera to the park and make it a memory. Depending on the age of your kids and gender what you bring to the park will differ. Boys – football, ball and glove; Girls – bubbles, jump rope, sidewalk chalk for hopscotch or if it’s a nice enough day buy a kite. If the park is just a jungle gym and some swings, well, you know what to do.
· 12:00 p.m. – Lunchtime. No one is going to get upset if you take them to McDonald’s but, if you make a picnic basket you get mad props from the life tips dad!
· 1:15 p.m. – Mid-afternoon activities are always a challenge when planning out a day. If the weather is nice and you have a pool now is a great time. From 1:00 p.m. to 3:00 p.m. is usually the warmest part of the day and a perfect time for a swim. The kids can play in the pool and you can relax in and out if needed. My favorite pool games are pool basketball and ring diving. Ah, summer.
· 3:15 p.m. – After two hours in the pool a snack is in order. Lunchables are a good snack for the kiddies.
· 3:45 p.m. – Early summer blockbusters + kids = FUN! There is always a great movie out there for the family.
· 6:00 p.m. – After you get dressed and back and forth from the movies it will be after 6pm. Depending on what you ate at the movies everyone is going to be starved or full. Assuming you behaved and didn’t eat the hot dogs or nachos – fire up the grill! Hamburgers and hot dogs will really hit the spots right about now.
· 8:00 p.m. – Bedtime for the kids.
· 8:05 p.m. – Bedtime for Dad! Sleep late tomorrow, you ROCK!

Let me know how your day goes. Best of luck and enjoy. Thank you.

Time out for dads

Are you feeling stifled by your kids or your partner? Enhance your relationship with your family by allowing sufficient time and space on your own to rest and recharge. Your own personal time and space also give you a continuing sense of your own importance.

Quality time

Quality time on its own is a myth. The quality of your relationship with your child or children is also dependent upon the quantity of time you spend with them. If you don’t give them adequate time, no matter how good the time you give is, how high up your priority list are they going to feel?

Invest in your relationships

Invest your greatest resource into your greatest assets. Spend time - lots of time - with your family. We have become very focused on material things and many have lost sight of the important things in life. In fact, all of the important things are free: Love, air, time, etc. Your family are the most valuable gift you have ever received, but they are not yours to keep unless you invest your love and time.

Getting to work stress free

Do you find yourself always rushing out the door to work with the kids trying to keep you back? How do you handle this - tell them off for holding you up, get stressed because you’re running late and feel guilty for yelling at the kids? In a perfect world you would deal with this by getting out of bed earlier in order to have time to spend with the kids before you stroll out the door to get to work early. In reality, you may be better to make less major, more realistic changes. Firstly, try to structure your morning so that you follow a routine for getting ready as that speeds you up and, also, keep a tab on the time so that you know where you should be up to at any time. Secondly, you don’t need to take it out on your kids - just tell them simply and pleasantly that daddy leaves for work at 7.00am (or whatever), give them a kiss and leave. They may yell and complain, but you don’t need to, and that removes a lot of the guilt.