Dads need Mentors too

This entry was written on Oct 01, 2009 by our Dad Guru John Valadez

Parenting is no easy task. Dads often seek out advice from others as well as have a “go to” person when advice is really needed. I’m no different from anyone else. There have been many mentors in my life and a current one is Dr. Wayne Dyer. My latest mentor is the author of 30 books, has created numerous audio programs and videos, and has appeared on thousands of television and radio shows. His full biography can be read on the Hay House website. Fortunately for me, I attended one of his speeches last night and subsequently met the self-help expert. The speech was based on his latest book, Excuses Begone!

The book lays out eighteen excuses that keep us from fulfilling our wishes. Whatever is keeping you from fulfilling your life’s purpose starts with an excuse; whether it’s, “I’m too old, I’m too fat, I’m too young, I’m too tired and on and on.” These excuses can be driven out of your mind with the assistance of Dr. Dyer’s book – Excuses Begone – and your ability to master his techniques.
We all need mentors and I’m happy to say I’ve met one more of mine. If you have the time - and are wise - please read this amazing book and begin to eliminate the excuses in your life.
Be the person you were born to be.
Have a great day and God Bless.

Consistent, consistent, consistent!

Consistency is one of the key elements to raising children successfully. Raising children in a positively consistent environment leads to balanced children who value their own self worth. Consistency lets them know who they are and where they stand in the world.

Can your Child really Read?

This entry was written on Aug 19, 2009 by our Dad Guru John Valadez

My daughter has been reading herself for some time now. Since she is making her transition into the first grade I decided to have her read to me every day. We pick out a level two or three book and she reads it. I’ve realized she is memorizing the words instead of sounding them out. The more she read the book, the more she knew. My goal for her was not memorization, but to actually know how to read. Today, I gave her a new book – one she didn’t memorize. She began reading and didn’t know the word “pulled”. The “u” and “ed” gave her some problems. I had her sound out the word and she didn’t know what I meant.

I was confused because she went through kindergarten and she would read the directions to me from her homework. Not to mention the 250 site words she knew.
My main issue with site words is they teach children to memorize and not read. I decided to teach her how to read; starting with this book. The book is thirty-two pages long and it took us two hours to finish. I wasn’t going to give her any help other than assisting her with sounds. She stumbled on pulled, passed, fell harm, asleep and strong, but she endured and I persisted and she read the entire book on her own. There were times she broke down and cried and I insisted she push forward - she did. Her elation when she finished was all that needed to be said. She hugged and thanked me over and over and accomplished a difficult task on her own. I’m so proud of her.

The little things that matter

Sometimes as dads we think that we have to do something big to show our children that we love them. This isn’t true. In fact, most children feel loved when their dads do the little things, like taking time to read a book, attend a sporting event, or play a game with them. It is the little things that matter in the end. Through small and simple things are great things brought to pass

Manifesting Happiness

This entry was written on Jul 06, 2009 by our Dad Guru John Valadez

There are many ways you can create happiness in the home. The obvious way is for you to be happy - even, when you are not. You can have a bad day at work, so what, be happy. A car can swipe your new Lexus in the parking garage, so what, be happy. The career isn't moving along as fast or in the directions you want, so what, be happy.

Just because life is full of ups and downs doesn't mean you have to be as well.

Be that steady guy that always has a smile on his face and people will notice, more importantly, your family will notice. No one wants to be around the cranky, crabby Dad, but everyone wants to talk, be around and love the happy Dad.

You can be that Dad - so be it.

Make time

Allow enough time in your life to have a real relationship with your children. Remember that song "Cat’s in the cradle"? If you don’t make time for them when they’re young, they will learn to not make time for you later on.

Commemorating our Independence

This entry was written on Jul 03, 2009 by our Dad Guru John Valadez

Between the backyard cookout and the fireworks display take some time to honor our founding fathers. Commemorating our Independence is paying tribute to them. Try reading aloud the Declaration of Independence to the family? It's only a page long and is a great family tradition.

This document is not only the single most important to our nation's liberty - it's probably the most misunderstood.

There are many sites that have the complete declaration for you to read. Here is one .

Reading aloud the words that were so eloquently written by Thomas Jefferson, our nations' 3rd President, will remind you of a time much less fortunate then the one we occupy now. While reading try to envision the decision process and severity of those delegates. We view them as historic figures, but they were just men like you and I. Most of them were farmers, lawyers and artisans; not the seasoned polished politicians of today. I'm sure they were encompassed with fear, skepticism and doubt of their actions. The consequences of such a separation must have been mind-blowing.

Honor their bravery and fortitude by reading the single most important document of our countries liberties.

Be an all-rounder dad

Are you an all-rounder? Be masculine as well as feminine, firm as well as fair, be part dad and part mom. Being a parent requires undertaking a wide diversification of roles. It requires being gentle with a bruised leg or ego, and at the same time, being the protector from dangers. Ask yourself these 2 questions: If a dog were about to attack your child, would you step in without hesitation and risk your own safety in order to protect your child? Would you cry openly in front of your child? If you don’t answer both of these questions as "yes" without hesitation, you are probably not an all-rounder. Review your priorities. Be a responsible parent in order to teach your child how to be a responsible parent.

Positive Parenting

This entry was written on Jun 19, 2009 by our Dad Guru John Valadez

“There are two ways of exerting one’s strength: one is pushing down, the other is pulling up.” – Booker T. Washington

When I was a young father my main objective was to provide for my family; as I have grown I realize my main objective is to uplift my family. During these trying times every home needs a leader; someone to rise above the derogatory news and remarks and uplift everyone that surrounds them.
Are you that positive parent?
When you see your children do you provide them with uplifting comments, advice and positive reinforcements? Or, do you constantly dwell on the negative and cut them down at the knees? Which father do you want to be, the positive parent or the negative fathers that constantly ridicule and bring everyone down? The next time you speak to your children try to answer the question: Did what I say lift up my family’s spirits or push them down?
If you have any questions or comments please let us know by commenting. Thank you for reading.

How do your friends influence your children?

Are your friends a good influence on your children? Or, do they swear, smoke, drink excessively, or talk about adult things in front of your kids? There is no suggestion here to change friends, however, perhaps you ask them to tone down their conversations when the kids are around. Alternatively, you could change the times when your friends are around to avoid some of their contact with your kids. Children will be exposed to all of these things enough in their young lives without it being in their home too often as well.

Be energetic with your kids

Being energetic with your kids may help you to bond with and relate to them better. Parents who sit around and read or watch telly a lot are not good role models for their kids and are often conceived by kids as boring and old. Your children have an incredible amount of energy that can be, for them, uncontrollable. If you don’t keep up with them and help to harness that energy onto positive pursuits, your child may find less desirable ways to release that energy. Bored kids can get into gangs or petty crimes as a way of burning up nervous energy that they don’t know what else to do with. Help them to focus their energies and help yourself to relate with them better.

Your children are not your second chance at life

"A father is a man who expects his children to be as good as he meant to be." -Carolyn Coats. It’s true that most of us want our kids to be our ideal image of ourselves - without all of the mistakes or faults that we think we have. But it’s not very realistic. Each child is an individual - not the second chance of the parent to live as they wished they had lived. Give your children space to be themselves and explore life their way. Your job is to show them right from wrong, good from bad, and protect them until they are old enough to go their own way.

The world for your children

What sort of world do you want your children to grow up in? It is your children that will shape the world of the future. It is you that will shape your children. Decide carefully and shape accordingly.

Learn to value your own things

If your kids don’t seem to place any value on their toys, books, clothes etc., this may be a reflection on your own actions. If you leave stuff laying around all over the place, you can’t realistically expect your children to be neat and tidy. If you mistreat things, slam doors, or are generally rough, expect them to be the same. Often, children are the best mirror of your own activities.