If you have trouble relating to your child's actions / reactions, picture your child as being yourself at their age or as the eternal child within yourself. Recall how you would react to the situation and understand your child's thinking and point of view. Use this to relate to your children's thought and emotion processes and to help them understand situations from where they see them.
Sometimes it's good to see things from your children's point of view. Try to stop and imagine how they see a situation - how big it is to them, how out of perspective people's emotions may seem, how fascinating small things are, how strange are those things that we take for granted. How you child sees the world can shape their whole life and being. If you understand what they see, you can help them to deal with some of their problems.