Relationship with Wife/Mother Tips

Read these 9 Relationship with Wife/Mother Tips tips to make your life smarter, better, faster and wiser. Each tip is approved by our Editors and created by expert writers so great we call them Gurus. LifeTips is the place to go when you need to know about Dad tips and hundreds of other topics.

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Should I do housework?

Share the house? Share the work

If you share a house, you should share the housework. Don't leave it all up to your partner to do. Even if you work all day and your partner is home all day, she will have been well occupied with the children and some of the home duties. Just because you walk in at the end of the day or week and put your feet up doesn't mean all of the house work is done. If you have trouble with who does what, sit down together at a time when neither of you is feeling grouchy and split the chores up. You don't have to take 50% each - the split should depend on your day time activities as well. But, ensure that you both contribute to the home duties.

Does it matter if I don´t get in with my ex?

Remove the Anger

How is your relationship with your ex-wife? Chances are, with kids involved, your paths still cross often. If you are still arguing with her or maintaining a disagreeable stance, you are doing yourself harm and also doing your kids harm. You're hurting yourself by maintaining the pain that you felt over the breakup. It's time to move on and put that behind you in order to enjoy the rest of your life. More importantly, you're hurting your kids because the two most important people in their lives are in conflict. If you can establish and maintain a more pleasant contact (you don't have to like her, just remove the anger against her), it may feel odd or difficult, but in the long run, everyone wins.

Do I have to celebrate every anniversary?

Agree on which anniversaries to celebrate

You may find that you and your partner think differently about celebrating various anniversaries. Things such as the anniversary of your first date or first kiss may not mean that much to you, but may mean a great deal to your partner. You can respect their desires and agree to celebrate these things, but maybe in a lesser way then other anniversaries. Perhaps a card or flowers will be acceptable. Perhaps, even just an extra 'phone call during the day, or simply saying "happy First Date day" when you wake up in the morning is enough. Often, it's the recognition of the importance of the date rather then giving a gift for it that will make all the difference. Also, if you do give a gift for any anniversary, try to vary the gift from year to year to avoid becoming stale in the celebration.

What if my marriage isn´t working?

Don't blame the marriage

If you and and your wife are not getting on well, don't blame the marriage. The marriage is not a tangible thing. It is the combined efforts of you and your spouse. When the "marriage fails", what has changed is the efforts that are being put in by one or both of you. Marriage is a two-way street and it takes consistent effort from both parties to make it work.

How do my relationships affect my kids?

Teaching about relationships

Maintain your relationship with mom. Teach your children through action how a loving relationship is. Remember that your children's view of the whole world is what they see every day.

SHould I still open doors for my wife?

Chivalry is not dead

Do not confuse the age of equality with the end of the age of chivalry. Being courteous and thoughtful is still an important value to behold. Holding doors open, helping to carry heavy loads, offering your spouse the last piece of pie are all ways to show that you care. It costs very little to give. It can cost a great deal more if you never give.

Should the kids know about our disagreements?

Don't fight in front of the kids

Don't fight in front of the kids. If you and your partner have a disagreement that you don't feel can be easily resolved, agree to discuss it at another time when the kids are not around. Show them how the two of you can resolve problems by working together rather then just arguing unproductively.

My ex is hostile. How do I handle her anger?

Two phrases

When dealing with a hostile ex wife two phrases will iron out many problems. "You may be right" and "How dare you!" Use "You may be right" often.This statement has no meaning other than "I heard you."
When her statments cross the line into abuse use "How dare you!" DO NOT ADD ANY OTHER WORDS! The point is to head off confrontation: Do not cause more. If the situation gets ugly, leave, take the kids if possible and go somewhere else.

Is it ok to bad mouth my ex in front of our child?

Your Child Always Comes First

Being a divorced, single father can be extremely difficult at times, especially if the mother of your child goes out of her way to make your life complicated and difficult. There are a number of negative things that can exist between you and your former mate, but you need to make sure that they do not drive a stake between you and your child.

You may find yourself in a situation where you want to lash out at your ex, or you may be tempted to start bad mouthing her in front of others, but you have to stop and ask yourself "Is this the message I want to send to my kid?" The answer is no. Your child needs to be first on your priority list and you need to ensure that you behave appropriately to make sure that doesn't change. Your child should look up to you, so make sure the role model they're seeing is one that they will be proud of.

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John Valadez