Singlehood Tips
Read these 10 Singlehood Tips tips to make your life smarter, better, faster and wiser. Each tip is approved by our Editors and created by expert writers so great we call them Gurus. LifeTips is the place to go when you need to know about Dad tips and hundreds of other topics.
Keep the kids out of the fight
Divorce is a messy battleground where children are the innocent victims. It is extremely important to keep the children out of the action. They will take the blame on personally for the breakup of the family and will feel that the arguments centre around them and their actions. Try to keep as much of the arguing / discussing away from the kids. Obviously they will sense and know that things are not right. But, they should not be in the centre of the problem.
New homes
To ease the pain of separation or divorce on children, both parents should ensure that their homes retain enough of the familiar things that the kids recognise as home. The child is looking for comfort in a time of great uncertainty. Give them a familiar environment to feel immediately comfortable in.
Handling divorce
Divorce is hard for kids to cope with. Let them know that they are not to blame in any way. Allow them their space and time to deal with what has happened and listen to them. They have their view and their right to that view.
Spend Time, Not Money
Your children need you - not your money. Spend time with your kids doing the things you would normally do. A day spent doing the body work on an old truck is usually a better idea than a day spent chasing a good time. The good time is fine, but only as a treat. Doing the normal things of life with your children is what they will remember in years to come.
Getting the Kids to School
Trying to get the kids to school every day when you have to get to work as well can be very inconvenient. How tolerant is your boss because you are late every single day? If the school and work are in opposite directions from home, how much time do you waste in getting them there? Are the kids dropped off earlier and just hanging around until school starts? One solution to all of this is to arrange a network of parents in your neighborhood to take it in turns to take the kids to school. For instance, it could be your turn a couple of times each week to take not only your kids but also a couple more of the neighbors kids with you. With only two neighbors joining you, you can cut down on your morning school run to no more then two mornings a week.
Making Shopping Easier
If you are the sole carer of your children, finding time and opportunities to shop for food may seem impossible. If you take the kids with you, the task can become even more difficult with keeping the kids under control as well as buying groceries. Also, it's hard to make kids understand that you have a limited budget and can't buy everything in the store. Try other alternatives, such as buying over the internet with delivery to your door). Some stores will allow you to order over the telephone and will also deliver to your door.
Respect Your Child's Mother
Never say anything against your child's mother. If you have nothing nice to say about her, say nothing at all. She is, and always will be, your child's mother. Treat her with respect and decency. Spend the time with your children, not re-living the issues between you and their mother.
Single Dads are Parents, Too
Do you feel alone as a single parent? Do you feel that you have nothing in common with other parents who's partners are still around or still alive? You don't need to take an "us and them" attitude to married fathers and mothers. Most parents have the same goal: to raise their kids as best as they can. If this is your goal too, you have a lot in common with other parents regardless of their marital status. Network with them, get to know them, and don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it.
Bring a Witness to Visitation
When your children's mother won't allow visitation, you must take careful action. Visitation interference is child abuse: Treat it as such. Take a witness with you as you make attempts to visit your child(ren). The best witness is a paralegal who is not directly involved in your visitation case. The next best witness is a police officer; if possible, an on-duty officer.
School Records Access
We all want to know how our children are doing in school. Non-custodial fathers have a special problem in this regard as they are not listed as the child's guardian. In most jurisdictions, you have the right to request all school records. Phone your child's school and ask about this. Once you have the records, talk to your child's teachers. Now, you'll know how your child is doing.
